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雅思写作逻辑

其实,雅思写作的考官们也像智商为零一样,喜欢「装疯卖傻」,但同时他们又好奇心爆棚,他们会在内心不断追问WHY,类似于「Why do you say so??」的这种让你不得不面对,但有时又招架不住的问题。
所以,对付考官这种生物,尤其需要大家注意两个字:逻辑——自圆其说、没有漏洞、让人信服
 
同学们请看这篇作文:
The increasing time people spend socialising online has brought about their indifference to real life (Topic Sentence). As they indulge themselves in the relationships in virtual world, their ability of face-to-face communication tends to deteriorate (vi. 恶化). Under the circumstances, people are apt to be too timid to talk to their friends in the local community, which may further spark off their escape from personal interactions.
注:已取得当事人同意(乖巧.jpg)
 
我想,考官看到这段的内心戏应该是:
把太多时间花在网络交际上,会让人们对现实世界冷漠。其实吧我也同意。但是,我作为考官,我要装疯卖傻的,为啥会对现实世界冷漠呢??
 
WHAT?! 沉迷于网络,面对面沟通能力就下降了?我不同意!我是个手机聊天重度患者,可是我在生活中撩妹照样厉害啊!
 
这样改一下呢:
As they indulge themselves in the relationships in virtual world, their ability of face-to-face communication tends to deteriorate, which can be attributed to the fact that online conversations are frequently missing visual and physical cues including facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Therefore, the comfort zone people create in the virtual world poses challenges when they talk to their neighbours or acquaintances locally.
 
1. 需要向考官解释所谓的“面对面沟通能力”为什么下降,而不是想当然地认为everybody都认同这个点,记住考官就算自己也认同,也会“装疯卖傻”,需要你说给他/她听!
 
2. 花太多时间在网上聊天,相对于当面交流缺少表情、身体语言等等的cues,久而久之习惯了网聊的舒适区后再当面和人聊天就会不适应(因为上一句提到的cues),面对面沟通能力就会下降。
 
3. 最后可以再提到随着沟通能力的下降,会形成恶性循环,很多人会逃避现实的人际交往,点出indifference。
 
总结一下就是:
过多时间网聊→因为缺乏cues不适应面对面沟通→交际能力下降,恶性循环→逃避现实,对世界(也就是身边的朋友)冷漠了
 
敲黑板 快总结
1. 你觉得不用讲的、地球人都知道的“道理”,一定要细致讲给他/她听。(当然也不用钻类似“人为什么要吃饭”这种牛角尖)
2. 好的考生都是“精分”考生,不断的问自己:为什么,这到底是为什么?上一句能推出下一句吗?这句话和上一句是啥关系?
 
南京偏锋雅思托福PTE